Hi guys. So, opening night went… poorly. I might talk more about this in tomorrow’s post when I am not really tired and upset and can remember things more clearly.
But basically things went pretty smoothly for act one, or at least I think they did. I couldn’t see much of the stage so I guess I don’t really know. But in act two we had to bring out the boys’ beds again, and then apparently we were supposed to take one of them away. We didn’t really know this. There are two beds on each side of the stage. The actors brought the first one over and then we thought that more actors were coming with the second one, but a while passed. I had the headset so I went on and asked who was supposed to move that one.
But Scott didn’t answer and then the light came on and he was like, “I need somebody to move that bed.” And then he quickly switched to, “No, it’s too late now. It’s just going to be like that.” And he switched back and forth and then Jay and I went out and did it and we were in like in very bright lighting and so that was not good.
Then there was a bench that needed to be brought out and so I went out to do it but then he was like, “No, I need someone in costume.” And so one of the actors came out then and moved this box that was still on the stage and Scott was freaking out in the headset and I pointed the actor over to the bench and he brought it on stage and then the last scene continued on, but for the whole last scene Scott was saying all this stuff about how we couldn’t whisper and we needed to speak up and who was on the right side and why weren’t they saying anything someone reply. He kept asking someone to say something but I didn’t know what to say and I was panicking because he was really mad and I just froze up entirely and then I got overwhelmed and gave the headset to Jay and told her to say something because he was telling someone to. And idk what he said after that or if he said anything at all but she didn’t answer so maybe he didn’t say anything else.
After the show was over the crew all gathered on the left side of the stage and we were all talking and my sister said that she heard me ask who was supposed to take off the bed. But then Daisy came over and told us that Scott was really mad and that he was going on a rant in the booth and she said that we needed to speak up more. And she said that she didn’t hear either me or Jay the whole time so idk. My sister said that it’s fine but we’re definitely going to get yelled at and I was really nervous.
By this point everyone was gathered on the stage so we reluctantly went out there and Jay and I went over to the other techies, who were gathered off to the side. Rye told me that it is fine and that these things happen so that helped a little.
I saw Jay talking to her mom and crying, and then she went out of the theater for a minute and when she came back I asked her if she was okay and she said yeah but I feel bad.
After the play there was this cast party which involved this ice cream bar and I wanted to get ice cream but my sister refused to stay because she didn’t want ice cream. I wandered around and stuck around Rye and the others because I didn’t really know what to do and I didn’t want to be alone. Then people started getting ice cream and stuff and I wanted to do that too. I haven’t been to any sort of party since elementary school and I thought it would be fun and maybe make me feel better. Plus I didn’t want to just disappear right away because I didn’t want Scott to think that I was like hiding from him or something idk.
But basically then I couldn’t find my sister and I looked for her but I couldn’t find her anywhere, so I went to the band room since we put our stuff in her band locker and it was all gone. I went back and asked Jay if she knew if we were allowed to leave and she said that she thought so, so I just grabbed my stuff and I went out to the parking lot and I got out just as my parents were driving away. And like I don’t have my phone and I told them that multiple times, so why the fuck were they just going to leave me there with no way to contact them?
I am just so fucking tired of people leaving me places all the time and I just wish that there was one person in the entire world who would just not abandon me.
But I got in the car and my dad asked me how I was and I told him that I was good because I am definitely not telling him that I’m upset. He would just make fun of me and stuff and make it a thousand times worse. Then he asked how the show was and I told him that it was not good. And he asked how it wasn’t good and I didn’t reply, just looked out the window. I made it very clear that I didn’t want to talk about it at the moment, but he just kept saying random stuff.
Then because he is either really bad at reading social cues or just doesn’t fucking care, he started whining about how nobody wanted to talk to him. And after a few minutes of no one responding to his tantrum he whined about it one last time and then, because he is incredibly immature and has an attention span of five seconds, he took out his phone and started playing a 30-second video of a stick figure comedian telling stupid jokes in an AI-generated voice. There were clapping sounds too. It was so stupid.
And he laughed at his screen and then looked over at my mom and was like, “You weren’t listening.” And I nearly snapped then and told him that of course she wasn’t because everyone around him finds these stupid videos fucking obnoxious and we all wish that he would stop playing them non-stop. I had the perfect wording too, which I no longer remember. Trust, it as vicious. It just came into my mind so quickly, which never happens, but I bit my tongue because I didn’t want any more drama tonight.
He kept scrolling and I didn’t want to hear the noise, so I rolled my window all the way down and turned my face into the wind and the air was 30 degrees and it made my face numb, which calmed me down for some reason, and the thrumming sound of the wind I found soothing also.
Then we got home. I went up to my room and cried and listened to the Beatles because that is the disk that was in my CD player. And then I dyed my hair because that makes me feel better. I fixed the streakiness of the black (at least I think I did, but I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see) and I died my roots pink. I didn’t use gloves, so now my fingertips are a disconcerting shade of purply grey. Also I was not exactly in a very methodical mood while doing this, so I definitely missed spots and it’s patchy. Some areas are a much darker pink that others, so… I will have to fix that later. Also I meant to dye the roots of my sidecuts black but I totally forgot until after I’d done the pink, and by then the black dye had already set, so I guess I will not be putting my hair up until I fix that. I should’ve done the black and the pink as separate dyes also, probably, but idk I was too lazy. I want sleep.
Dyeing my hair did make me feel a bit better, but I’m still upset. It is my fault that the last scene got all fucked up and I really don’t want Scott to hate me because I have looked up to him for years and idk I just feel really guilty and stupid and incompetent and also so tired. I’m so happy that tomorrow is Saturday and that I will get to sleep in a lot… though I might not be able to do that because my father is probably going to be really loud in the morning because he’s always so loud but anyways… I can dream.
So, this was a depressing post. I’ll tell you about the first part of my day also. It was much happier. Statistics was bad though because I didn’t get much sleep and I felt like I was half-asleep and I had to work with these two girls for some reason on this review thing and they kept yelling at me and stuff because apparently I have all of the answers and I’m just not telling them. It was very annoying. Like I know nothing, leave me alone. My mom drove me to the college and in History we learned about the Roman Empire up to the Pax Romana, and then the professor started the next lecture, which is about the Silk Road. German was pretty chill. We did some surprisingly not scary conversational stuff and that was it basically.
Then my mom picked me up, and she bought me a yummy veggie breakfast burrito from my favorite coffee shop and a latte to help me stay up late. She drove me back to my high school, and I ate my lunch and went to Economics. I asked Mr. R the other day if it was okay to have my coffee cup in class since open beverages are outlawed at my school because of the carpeting or something, and he said yes! So I drank my coffee in class. We’re apparently going to be starting a unit on socialism and I really hope that the teacher is thoroughly educated on the subject because otherwise this is going to get iffy very quickly. I don’t think that he will spread misinformation very badly (though I did just jinx it), but I am dreading having to hear the stupid things I know my classmates will say…
That is all. I’m sorry if this was a mess. It is 1:30 AM and after this week I really don’t have the energy to edit this. Also I’m sorry that Kaomoji is gone. I swear that he will be returning in full force. I just haven’t had the time to put him everywhere lately.
Alright, peoples. Have a good day/afternoon/night. I’ll be back tomorrow <3.
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