Because it’s Wednesday I had to go to chapel this morning. I went into the auditorium, found a seat by some random people, and I sat there for like five minutes but then I just got up and… left. Idk I just couldn’t be there anymore. Had some seriously bad luck too, because on the way down the hall I walked past both the principal and my mom… so yeahh… anyways (-_-).
I’ve always wanted to go to public school because a) I don’t like being indoctrinated, b) I don’t like the environment of my school or most of the people there (though there are some nice ones), c) I’ve always had a hard time connecting with my classmates because mostly we are from totally totally different social groups, and d) my mom has to work there because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to afford it.
Honestly I’ve never told anyone before but I really hate having my mom work at my school. Like I just feel like I can’t breathe, y’know? I mean there are lots of other reasons that I always wanted to go to public school, but those are some big ones that I can think of right now.
After chapel ended (I hid in the conference room), I went to my first class. Statistics was… not great (e⌒e). I lowkey forgot to do the assignment and idk the class just felt very long also. After that I went and chilled in the conference room again. It was one of my mom’s coworker’s birthdays, so I got a slice of chocolate cake yayy (っ˘ڡ˘ς).
At 2:00 PM/14:00 I went to Economics. We took this test and didn’t do anything else. Mr. R’s tests are always really easy.
Then I finally got to go home (”’– ⌓ –)＝３. Today felt long even though I lowkey did nothing. I am so happy that fall break is finally here!! ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡ Tomorrow my family and I are going on a road trip to Duluth, so I’m very excited for that. I think that I’ll post each day separately, though I might make a post about the whole trip afterwards. I’m still undecided ╮(ˆ𐃷ˆ)╭.
Lately I’ve been really stressed about HRT because I will be turning 18 in January and that’s the legal age where I live… So I have been thinking about asking my parents about it and I even drafted them a letter but so far have not printed it off. I want to wait until after the road trip because I don’t want to cause a big conflict right before but it is kinda making me really nervous ദ്ദി( ‘𖦹 ω 𖦹`ᵕ). Which is bad because that means I’m hopeful and I really shouldn’t be since there is a 99.9% chance that they will say no (_‸_).
They (sort of?) know that I am trans. I got outed by a teacher last year. And, yeah… they said lots of transphobic shit, and basically told me that I am just a confused masculine girl (-〜-). It has only come up a few times since then. I’m not sure that they’ve actually grasped it, which is why I said “sort of” earlier. They never asked me my name or my pronouns, which lowkey makes me kinda sad. Idk I just wish that I had parents who liked and accepted me bro is that so much to ask? (╥﹏╥)
They are catholic and MAGA, so… yeah. They will probably say no. Still I am going to ask them, just in case (if I can get the nerve that is). I feel like it is kinda early to do so, but if I ask them now then I guess that gives them a few months to think it over. I am kinda scared though that, if in the .01% chance they do ask, they will not let me have it anymore the minute that we have a slight disagreement since my mom is known to have taken away stuff for no reason, with no explanation. It lowkey sucks. Idk. She has these insane mood shifts sometimes. Like one moment we will be having fun and shopping and watching movies and stuff and the next moment she’s telling me that I’m a horrible child ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
It’s something that I’ve been anxious about for a while. I hope that because I am going to be 18 they will let me make my own decisions regarding my healthcare, but I know that this is probably unrealistic, and that they are more likely to claim that I cannot make my own decisions regarding my healthcare as long as I am under their insurance. Today I added QR codes to the letter, so that they can easily go to all of the articles I sited, and I plan to print it off and leave copies at their places at the table after we get back from our road trip (“”•﹏•).
So… that was a long side quest. Back to my day. After I got home from school I had some pasta for dinner (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑). I watched a lot of music videos and played Genshin Impact for a bit. Mostly I just swam around Fontaine. It’s been ages since I last played the game and I didn’t realize how much I missed it. Didn’t get to play for very long because it was late when I started, but it was very relaxing (╺ ̫ ╺).
Anyways that took forever to write now I need my blankies… ༼ つ ◕◕ ༽つ
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